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The Little Book of Stoicism

Author -> Jonas Salzgeber

Part 1 : What is Stoicism?

What is Stoicism?

  • Stoicism is an art of living. Stoicism is a philosophy based on the sole idea of living a happy and content life, regardless of the external events happening in our lives.
  • Stoicism teaches us - ‘How to leave a happy and smoothly flowing life’ and secondly, it teaches us - ‘How to stay emotionally resilient to retain that happy and smoothly flowing life even in the face of adversity.’

Promise #1: Eudaemonia

“Dig within. Within is the wellspring of Good; and it is always ready to bubble up, if you just dig.” -Marcus Aurelius

  • For all the stoics, the ultimate goal of life was eudaemonia, to become good (eu) with your inner daimon.
    • Eudaemonia refers more to the overall quality of someone’s life rather than a temporary mood such as happiness.
  • This basically means - “Be good with your inner spirit, live in harmony with your highest self.”

Promise #2: Emotional Resilience

“To bear trails with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.” - Seneca

  • Just because life is hard doesn’t mean we should give up and leave, it means we should get back up and keep on getting better. Life is like a boxing ring, punches, and kicks are what we’ve signed up for, this is our discipline.

“Unharmed prosperity cannot endure a single blow, but a man who has gone through countless misfortunes acquires a skin calloused by suffering” - Seneca

  • Stoics identified strong emotions as our ultimate weakness; especially when we let them dictate our behaviour.
    • What makes insults hurtful isn’t their content, but our interpretation of those insults.
  • The stoics acknowledged that desires and emotions are part of nature, but we have it within our power to rise above them and not get disturbed by them.

“A brave man isn’t someone who doesn’t experience any trace of fear whatsoever, but someone who acts courageously despite feeling anxiety.” - Donald Robertson

The Stoic Happiness Triangle

The Stoic Happiness Triangle

The Stoic Happiness Triangle

  • It is the visualization of the author’s view on stoicism and not what the Stoics taught.

  • At the core of the triangle is Eudaemonia, the ultimate goal.

  • Live with Arête basically means expressing our highest self in every moment.

  • Focus on What you can control

    • At all times, we need to focus on the things we control, and take the rest as it happens.
    • What’s important for our flourishing is what we choose to do with the given external circumstances.
      1. Live with Arête

    “A good character is the only guarantee of everlasting, carefree happiness.” - Seneca

    • Arete - the classic translation is “virtue” or “excellence”, but the author prefers way Brian Johnson of the website optimize.me puts it “Expressing the highest version of yourself moment to moment to moment."
    • Living with arete is about trying to reach the higher line (the ideal self) and express what you’re capable of in this very moment.
    • Think of arete as virtue as a form of wisdom or strength that helps you do the appropriate thing at all times.
    • What is this Virtue we are giving so much importance to?
      • Virtue is about trying to be the best you can be in every moment
      • If you are able to do that, you will have a good relationship with your highest self and will live a happy and smoothly flowing life.
      • If you’re unable to express the highest version of yourself, this will create space for regret and anxiety of crawl out of the darkness and spread misery.
      • A person’s virtue depends on their excellence as a human being, on how well they perform their natural potential.
      • We negate our very humanity and fall to the state of a sheep when we let our actions become impulsive and inconsiderate.
    • We don’t need to be perfect for stoics, but we should try at least, to be as good as possible.

    The Four cardinal Virtues

    • Virtue is divided into four parts as follows

      1. Wisdom - Understanding how to act and feel appropriately.
      2. Justice - Knowing how to act and feel well in our relationships with others.
      3. Courage - Knowing how to act and feel correctly when facing fearful situations.
      4. Self-Discipline - (aka temperance) - Knowing how to act and feel right, despite emotions such as strong desire, inner resistance or lust.

      For the stoics, its the whole package of the above 4 values that count, it’s an All-OR-Nothing deal!

    • Remember : Nobody will ever be perfect in all their actions and, as long as we’re trying our best, this doesn’t matter. The world isn’t black and white, we can’t always tell what the right thing to do is, but we can always try to act with our best intention.

    • Focused Attention and continuous Self-observation is necessary if we actively want to align our actions with virtue.

      • As we let our thoughts drift away, we allow our actions to become mindless, we stumble into folly, and give away our best chance for eudaimonia as we’re far off from being our best in this very moment.

        • Act Virtuously because it’s the right thing to do, and not because you benefit from it

      • It is important that the positive feelings behind a task should not be the primary motives of our virtuous actions.

      • The positive feelings should be looked at as added bonuses.
      • Virtue, in itself must absolutely be it’s own reward.
        • Words from Marcus Aurelius on your virtue

      “A lamp shines until its fuel is fully spent. So, why should’t I, my truth, justice and self-control shine until I’m extinguished” - Marcus Aurelius

      • Let’s light our lamps of virtue and let them shine by expressing our highest versions for as long as we may exist.
        1. Focus on what you can control

    • “What is it then to be properly educated?”

      “It is learning to apply our natural preconceptions to the right things according to Nature, and beyond that, to separate the things that lie within our power from those that don’t” - Epictetus

    • The central teaching of Epictetus was that there are things which are in our power, and there are things which are not - “Make the best use of what is in our power, and take the rest as it happens.”

    • Voodoo Doll Example

      • Imagine, you hold in your hands your own voodoo doll. You walk over a window and throw it out on the road. You stay inside and hope for a sunny day with some lucky happenings.
      • Suddenly life becomes an emotional roller coaster, A dog pees on you, a person kicks you and a car goes over you. life Sucks! Now nobody would do what you did to your voodoo doll, will they?
      • But isn’t that exactly what many people do by worrying about stuff outside their own control?
      • That is the root cause of emotional suffering, to worry about outside events.
      • Stoics would tell us to take that imaginary voodoo doll back into our own hands, and let ourselves decide when to get kicked around and not.

    Nice, so you decided to take things in your control, but what are the things that are in our control, and not in our control?

    • Stoic dichotomy of control

      • The stoic dichotomy of control is about the recognition of three levels of influence we have over the world
        1. High Influence - Our choices in judgements and actions
        2. Partial Influence - Health, Wealth, relationships, and outcomes of our behaviours ****
        3. No influence - Weather, ethnicity and most external circumstances
      • It is withing our power to choose our behaviour even if everything else is not or only partially within our control.
        • The Stoic Archer: Focus on the Process

      Once in Switzerland, the governor raised a pole in the centre of the main street with his hat on the top and demanded everyone to bow in respect to it every-time they pass by. When William Tell and his son were passing by, they forgot to bow their heads or maybe ignored it. They were taken to the governor who then asked William to be executed or to shoot an apple off his son’s head with an crossbow. Luckily he was an expert with the crossbow and hit the apple in a straight shot. Later, he was again arrested for admitting that he had kept 2 arrows, one extra, if his son had died he would have killed the governor.

               This was because William knew that he had control over the situation only till he released the arrow, once he had taken his shot there would be a thousand things that could go wrong and he shouldn’t blame himself for it but rather prepare himself for what to do next.

    • Process focus - To focus the process (under our control), instead of the desired outcome (not under our control)

    • What is this success then?

      • Success then is defined by our effort to do everything that’s within our power.
      • The Stoic archer succeeds in the process and is ready to take any outcome with equanimity and calm confidence, knowing they’ve tried their very best.
      • Anxiety and inner disturbance come from wanting things out of our control.
      • The root cause of emotional suffering comes from worrying about things outside our control.
        • Events

      “Events can give us physical pain but Suffering only comes from resisting what is, from fighting with reality” - Dan Millman

      • The stoics want us to cultivate acceptance to whatever happens because most events happen without us having a say in the matter.
      • There are many things in our lives we can’t control. Either we accept the situation and try to make the best with it, or we fight it like a stubborn baby and end up crying and feeling miserable. It’s our choice.

      Seek not for events to happen as you wish but rather wish for events to happen as they do and your life will go smoothly.

      • Events do not happen as they do regardless of your actions, but rather depending on your actions.

        • The Good, the Bad and the Indifferent Things

      • Critically the only things which are up to us can be good or bad, and all those that aren’t up to us get classified as indifferent.

        1. Good Things: all things that is virtue; wisdom, justice, courage, self-discipline
        2. Bad Things: All that is vice; folly, injustice, cowardice, intemperance.
        3. Indifferent Things:
          1. External things that are irrelevant to our actions/ not in our direct control.
          2. Everything else, life & death, health & sickness,etc.
      • We have to learn to be indifferent towards indifferent things.
      • There are two types of indifferent, the one you would prefer (such as good friendships, love, life) and the indifferent we do not prefer (such as death, heartbreak, etc.)
        1. Take Responsibility

    • The freedom of choice is really about actively choosing our response rather than reactively going with the default response.

    • Happiness depends more on what we make of what happens rather than what happens in the first place.

    • No matter where you are, what you’re facing, you will always have your freedom of choice. You just need to spot your first impression, evaluate the situation and choose your wisest response.

    • Disturbed or Invincible that is up to you

      “Men are disturbed not by the things which happen but by the opinions about the things.”

      • External events are not within our power but they offer an area we control, we have the power to choose what these events mean to us, and it’s our choices that matter, not the events.
      • The situation itself doesn’t make us unhappy, it may cause physical pain in certain situations but it’s the story about the situation that causes the trouble.
      • Good or bad can only be found in your judgements and actions, not in external events.

      • Only Your Judgement can harm you, no matter what uncontrollable challenges you’re facing in life, you have the power to decide what these events mean to you, only you have the freedom to choose your best reaction.

        • RULES BY EPICTETUS

      • There is nothing good or bad unless we choose to make it so

      • We shouldn’t try to lead events but follow them Resistance is futile, take things as they come and make the best of what’s in your power.

THE Villain: Negative Emotions

  • With emotion in control and something inside feeling bad, our number one priority becomes to feel better, and we automatically seek relief of the pain we’re feeling.
  • The negative emotion orders us to do what makes us feel better and relieve the pain in the present moment, regardless of our values and long-term goals.
  • The problem with these emotions is not that they exist, but that they overwhelm us so that we end up doing the opposite of what we ought to do.
  • As long as you’re afraid of not getting what you want and feel bad about not getting it, you are only a puppet to your emotions.

  • Dangers of Unawareness

    • While being unaware, we cannot observe and recognize our first impressions and would mindlessly follow along.

    • As Epictetus says,

        “You mustn’t link your happiness to the prize you will get at the end, but you should remember that doing the right thing is enough, it’s a reward in itself.”

    • Being aware will reduce the times we get taken over by negative emotions.

    • ADVICE BY EPICTETUS

      1. We should endure what we irrationally fear and dislike with courage and perseverance.
      2. We should renounce (or abstain from) what we irrationally crave through discretion and self-discipline.
        • Awareness might not be enough for you to act accordingly to our values, but it surely buys you time and delay, so you see the situation clearly and can at least try to make the rational decision.

Part 2 : The Stoic Practices

  • BRACE YOURSELF

“What would have become of Hercules, if there were no adversities? What would he have done in the absences of challenges?”

  • All the adversities you are facing in life are tests. It’s mere training.

  • Life is meant to be hard at times, chin up, chest out, you’ll do fine!

  • BE MINDFUL

  • The most important prerequisite is to be aware of what’s going on.

  • Because stoic philosophy is a lot about how we react to what happens in the world around us.

“A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step of salvation. You have to catch yourself doing it before you can correct it.”

  • RECHARGE YOUR SELF DISCIPLINE

  • Stoicism requires a lot of self discipline

  • It’s up to us. Either we’re willing to invest and reap the benefits or we’re not and risk wasting our lives.

  • Self-discipline is like a muscle. The more you use it the stronger it will get.

  • DON’T CALL YOURSELF A PHILOSOPHER

  • If friends do mock you for trying to improve yourself you might want to rethink those friendships.

  • Don’t mention you are into Stoicism, just live by it.

  • Preparing Practices

    • Stoicism is demanding.

    • It wants you to express your highest self at all times. It wants you to focus on what you control and accept the rest with equanimity.

    • It wants you to recognize your power to perceive events in constructive ways.

    • And it wants you to take responsibility for your own flourishing.

      1. The stoic art of Acquiescence: Accept and Love Whatever Happens

      2. If we resist reality, if we think things are going against us, if we fight with what is then we will suffer.

      3. If we resist what’s happening we will always end up suffering.
        • Once upon a time a dog was leashed to a horse cart, the cart started on its journey. Now, the cart started dragging the dog along with itself. It was painful for the dog but after some time the dog somehow got up and started running along with the cart.
        • Just like that, in our lives we always have two options, we can either be dragged by the cart(reality) while resisting and complaining, or we can abide to it and start running accordingly and save ourselves from pain.
      4. Don’t fight with reality, but bring your will into harmony with it, and focus on where your power lies.

      5. Just like you take some medicine when a doctor tells you to, we should take external events as they are, because they’re like the medicine here to help us.

          1. Undertake Actions with a Reserve Clause

      6. The reserve clause implies two points

        1. Do your very best to succeed…
        2. … and simultaneously know and accept that the outcome is beyond direct control.
      7. Focus on what you control, and take the rest as it happens. Focus on the process - effort, training, preparation - and be ready to accept the outcome with equanimity.

      8. Know that sometimes things will not go your way even if you do your best, and regardless of whether you deserved it or not.

          1. What stands in the way becomes the way

      9. In every challenge lies an opportunity for growth.

      10. Whenever something gets in the way, use that obstacle to practice your most important goal - to live with arete.
      11. There will always be new (obstacles) opportunities presenting themselves.
      12. Ultimately, it’s never the challenges that matter, but how you perceive them.
          1. Remind Yourself of the Impermanence of Things

      “When giving your child or wife a kiss, repeat to yourself, ‘I am kissing a mortal.’ ”

      • Things are constantly changing. We must appreciate what we have now because it might be gone tomorrow. Life is impermanent!
      • Life is ephemeral* - People we care about may be snatched from us in a snap, without warning.
      • You must learn to enjoy stuff and people without getting entitled to them, without clinging.
      • Knowing that nothing lasts makes you less attached and it becomes easier to accept when things change or when you lose what you love.
      • Things come and go. Nothing Lasts.
          1. Contemplate Your Own Death

      “I am not eternal, but a human being; a part of the whole, as an hour is of the day. Like an hour I must come and, like an hour, pass away.”

      • Epictetus
      • Marcus Aurelius tells us - “Think of yourself as dead, you have lived your life. Now take what’s left and live properly.”
      • Living as if it was our last day is not about living a frivolous lifestyle. It is about periodically reflecting on the fact that you will not live forever, you’re mortal, and you might not wake up the next morning.

      • The goal is not to change your activities necessarily, but your state of mind while doing those activities.

          1. Consider everything as borrowed from nature

      • We are unable to handles losses in our life because we’re unaware of the possibility to lose those things in the first place.

      • In our lives we take things for granted. We think we’re invincible. This ignorance will cost us dearly. It will lead us being in a devastated state and we’ll be unable to cope up with it.
      • That’s why you should consider everything you have as borrowed from nature. You do not own anything. Everything you think is yours, has been loaned to you, even your own life.
          1. Negative Visualisation: Foreseeing bad stuff

      “If you would not have a man flinch when the crisis comes, train him before it comes.”

      • Negative Visualisation is an imagination exercise where you foresee bad stuff.
      • The stoics used negative visualisation to train themselves to maintain equanimity and cope well even in challenging situations.
      • Think of this as an exercise. Before you go out ask yourself the following:
        • What could go wrong?
        • What obstacle could pop up?
        • Where could I face difficulties?
      • Devastation - that feeling that we’re absolutely crushed and shocked by an event, is basically a factor of how unlikely we considered that event in the first place.
      • Fortune Falls Heavily on whose for whom she’s unexpected. The one always on the lookout easily endures. - Seneca
          1. Voluntary Discomfort

      Three forms of voluntary discomfort

      1. Temporary Poverty:

        • Spending a few days per month to live as if impoverished. 2. Get yourself in Uncomfortable Situations:

        • Cold showers, under-dressing for cold weather, etc. 3. Purposefully Forgo Pleasure:

        • Instead of getting in uncomfortable situations, here you forgive pleasure.

        • This isn’t about punishing yourself, it is about expanding your comfort zone, getting you more comfortable in uncomfortable situations, and improving your self discipline, resilience, and confidence.

      Keep all the comfort you want, just go without those things sometimes.

      1. Prepare yourself for the Day: The Stoic Morning Routine.

      2. At daybreak, we should ask ourselves a few questions.

        1. What do I still lack in order to achieve freedom from negative emotions?
        2. What do I need to achieve tranquility?
        3. What am I? A rational being.

      3. Always remember: “Mortal have you been born, to mortals you have given birth. Reckon on everything, expect everything.”

          1. Review Your Day: The Stoic Evening Routine

      4. Rehearse your day in the morning, review your progress in the evening.

      5. In the evening, before you go to bed ask yourself questions such as:
        1. What bad habit have you put right today?
        2. Which fault did you take a stand against?
        3. In what respect are you better?
      6. This nightly self analysis will help you gain control over your negative emotions because you will subconsciously know you’ll be judged by night.

      The Good, Better, Best exercise. Ask yourself the following three questions:

      1. GOOD: What did I do well today?
      2. BETTER: How could I improve? What could I do better?
      3. BEST: What do I need to do if I want to be the best version of myself?

      Always stay kind and forgiving to yourself

      1. Keep a Role Model in Mind: Contemplate the Stoic Sage

      2. In order to become our highest selves we should have someone to look up to and see as what’s the highest self?

      3. One strategy to do this is by contemplating a role model and measuring ourselves against it.
      4. Choose someone whose way of life as well as words have won your approval.
      5. Always remind yourself of what you want to become whenever you start going off the track.
          1. Play your Given Roles Well

      “Your objective is to act the role that is given to you. To select the role is up to someone else” - Epictetus.

      • You have to fulfill your duties no irrespective of the other person. That’s ultimately his loss and not yours.
      • When you don’t play the role you are given properly, you lose your character.
      • The loss of character is not accompanied by sickness or loss of possessions. You don’t realise what you’ve lost — Your gentle, patient, and dignified character.
          1. Eliminate the non essential

      “Most of what we say and do is not essential. We need to eliminate unnecessary assumptions as well. To eliminate the unnecessary actions that follow”

      • Marcus Aurelius
      • We must choose our actions wisely, spending our grains of sand on what’s important and stop wasting our lives on trivial matters.

      • If you seek tranquility, do less… do what’s essential

          1. Forget Fame

      • Things almost change as you look at them, and then they will be forgotten.

      • Be indifferent to what others think of you. Be as dismissive of their approval as you are of their disapproval.
      • Doing the right thing is its own reward. Find your satisfaction in that and not in temporary fame.
          1. Like a minimalist: Live Simple

      “Is it not madness and the wildest lunacy to desire so much when you can hold so little?”

      • Seneca
      • The stoics prefer a minimalist lifestyle, where you own what you need and not you want.
      • The ephemeral materialstic things would just lead to attachments and heart break when life takes them away from you.
          1. Take back your Time

      “It is essential for you to remember that the attention you give to any action should be in due proportion to its worth, for then you won’t tire and give up.”

      • Marcus Aurelius
      • Time cannot be brought back. Once the grain of sand trickles down our life glass, it’s gone forever.
      • If you wish to improve, be content to appear clueless or stupid in extraneous matters — don’t wish to seem knowledgeable
      • It is not that we have short time to live, but that we waste a lot of it. Life is long enough, and a sufficiently generous amount has been given to us for the highest achievements if it were all well invested.

      • Focus on the things that matter and stop wasting time on things that don’t.

          1. Win at what matters

      • What do you think will help your children?

        1. Your insight into happiness and meaning, or
        2. the fact that you followed political news for more than 30 years every day.
      • There’s nothing harder than to learn ‘how to live’, it’s about time you get started.
      • Don’t envy anyone, everyone’s success comes at a price that only they and a few know about.
      • Your most valuable asset is your character, it will help you win at what matters.
          1. Become an eternal student

      “Leisure without study is death! A tomb for a living person.”

      • Seneca
      • Make sure you enjoy your relaxation like a poet, not idly but actively, observing the world around you, taking it all in, better understanding your place in the universe.
      • Take a day off from work every now and then, but not a day off from learning.

      As an avid student, keep in mind two things:

      1. Be Humble:
        • It is impossible to learn that which one thinks one already knows.
      2. Put it into Practice
        • As time passes we forget and end up doing the opposite.
        • As warriors of the mind, we must go out and actually live out what we’ve learned.
          1. What do you have to show for Your Years?

      “It’s possible for a person who has had a long life to have lived too little.”

      • Seneca
      • We act like mortals in all that we fear, and like immortals in all that we desire.
      • Are you going to be the person not ready to die when it’s time?
      • I want to make sure that I can look back and say, “Yes, I made the most of it. I lived well. I savoured every drop of my life!”
          1. Do What Needs to Get Done

      “How late it is to begin really to live just when life must End!”

      • Seneca
      • It’s time to get up and do what we must. We won’t be living forever afterall.
      • Situational Practices
      1. Your judgement harms you

      “If you are pained by any external thing, it is not this thing that disturbs you, but your own judgement about it. And it is in your power to wipe out this judgement now.”

      • Seneca
      1. How to Deal with Grief

      “It is better to conquer grief than to deceive it”

      • Stoics are not people who suppress their emotion. Instead the stoic philosophy intends to deal with emotions immediately rather than running away from them.
      • Whenever you are in a broken state, ask yourself, the person you are grieving over, would she have wanted you to be tortured with tears?
        • If yes, she’s NOT worthy of your tears
        • If no and if you love and respect her, then you should stop crying.
          1. Choose Courage and Calm over Anger

      “It isn’t manly to be enraged. A real man doesn’t give way to anger and discontent, and such a person has strength, courage, and endurance - unlike the angry and complaining.”

      • Anger never comes to assist courage, anger replaces courage.
      • Whenever you get start getting angry, remind yourself, Things don’t happen against us, they just happen.
          1. Beat Fear with Preparation and Reason

      “We are often more frightened than hurt, and we suffer more from imagination than reality” - Seneca

      • This imaginary fear of ours has consequences. We’re often held back by our fears, we’re paralysed by what isn’t real.
      • The actual damage of what we fear pales in the comparison to the damage done by ourselves as we are blindly trying to prevent what we fear.
      • It is a projection to the future about something that we do not control that causes a dangerous amount of worry.
      • We must stop attaching ourselves to external things and desires which are not under our control. Because a lack of control leads to fear.
      • What you fear is often a product of your imagination, not reality.
      • You’re afraid of something not because the reality of fit is bad, but because you think reality would be bad.

      • We’re creating nightmares for ourselves. That’s why we must wake up and stop this madness.

          1. Blame Your Expectations

      • We get angry, sad, disappointed because reality differs from our expectations.

      • We get surprised because things are not as we wished.

      • The wise person ensures that none of what happens will come unexpectedly.

          1. The Equanimity Game

      • What matters is to get back on track as soon as possible. Don’t be knocked out any longer than necessary. Get a hold on yourself and get back up! Return to balance.

      • Philosopher Brian James calls this the Equanimity Game.
        1. Notice when you’re off-balance
          • Example, when you start to lose patience with traffic, your spouse, or a colleague.
        2. See how fast you can catch yourself and correct yourself.
          • Bringing yourself back to equanimity.
      • The wind fuels a fire and extinguishes a candle.The wind is the obstacle; it extinguishes you if your commitment and perseverance are weak, but it will fuel you when you accept the challenge and don’t give up with the first difficulties.
          1. The Anti-puppet mindset

      ‘if a person gave your body to a passerby, you’d be furious. Yet you hand over your mind to anyone comes along, have you no shame in that?’

      • You end up giving away your mind by letting other people affect your mental peace, leaving you disturbed and troubled.
          1. Life is supposed to be challenging.

      “Difficulties show a person’s character. So when a challenge confronts you, remember that God is matching you with a younger sparring partner.”

      • As said by Seneca - “I judge you unfortunate because you have never lived through misfortune. You have passed through life without an opponent. No one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.”

      • So when it gets tough, remind yourself it’s what you’re here for. It’ll make you stronger.

          1. Count your blessings

      • Don’t set your minds on things that you do not possess, instead be grateful for the things you own and remind yourself how much you would desire them if they weren’t yours already.

      THE DIVINE LAW

      • To keep a man’s own, not to claim that which belongs to others, but to use what is given, and when it is not given, not to desire it; and when a thing is taken away, to give it up readily and immediately, and to be thankful for the time that a man has had the use of it.

      • When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love!

      1. Other-ize

      2. When somebody’s wife or child dies, to a man we routinely say, ‘Well that’s part of life.’ But if one of our own family is involved, then right away it’s ‘Poor, poor me!’

      3. When some inconvenience happens to you, think about the reaction you’d show if it happened to someone else. This will help you maintain your balanced mind.

          1. Avoid Rashness: Test your Impressions

      4. whenever a situation arises where you might lose control, ask yourself - ‘Is this something that is, or is not in my control?’ If it’s not one of the things you can control be ready with the reaction, ‘Then it’s none of my concern.’

      5. Being able to view the impressions requires us to have Self Awareness.

      6. It really is two steps

        1. Spot our impressions and make sure we don’t get carried away immediately.
        2. Examine the impressions and calmly decide what to do next.
          1. Be Good, Do Good

      7. Don’t be the guy who shouts from the rooftops when done a just act.

      8. It’s childish behaviour to tell what good you have done.

      9. Do what is right, and what nature demands you to do. Don’t look around to see if people will know about it.

          1. Nobody Errs on Purpose

      10. People do what seems right to them. If they do wrong, it’s because that’s what seems true to them.

      “To err is human; to forgive is divine”

      1. Forgive and love those who stumble

      2. It’s our special privilege to love even those who stumble.

      3. You must remind remind yourself of four things:
        1. The stumbling people are your relatives (Everyone is family)
        2. They do/did wrong involuntarily.
        3. We all will be dead soon anyways, so is it really worth holding a grudge?
        4. We can only be harmed if we choose so.

      “Bestow pardon for many things; seek pardon for none.” - Seneca

      1. How to deal with Insults

      2. When someone insults you ask yourself the following:

        1. Why is it an insult to be told what is self-evident?
        2. Who insulted you
          • If its someone you respect then you should value their opinion and accept it as something we can actually improve on.
          • If you don’t respect them, why bother?
      3. If a person insults you, you can be certain that they have a flawed and immature character.
      4. The best revenge is to let it go and be a better example.

      The art of Acquiescence

      We want to accept everything as it happens. Because it is not under our control and we can’t change it once it happened. Reality is as it is.

      1. For such small price by tranquility

      2. before you react to whatever arouses anger within, say to yourself: ‘I buy tranquility instead.’. Then smile, do what needs to be done and move on with your life.

      3. The small things that usually irritate you aren’t worth the hassle.

          1. Put Yourself in Other People’s shoes

      4. We’re often too quick to judge.

      5. For the stoics it is more important to love, than to be loved.
      6. We judge people without knowing what situation they’re in.
      7. Let’s take the stoic advice by heart and always take a second before we judge others.

      8. Remember you are only free if you can look at external events with indifference.

          1. Do Good, Not only No Evil

      9. It’s not enough to just not do evil. We must be a force for the good in the world, even in minor situations.

      10. It’s when good citizens decline to get involved when evil will triumph, as the famous saying goes - “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

          1. Say only what’s not better left unsaid

      11. Let silence be your goal for the most part; say only what is necessary, and be brief about it.

      12. We like to talk about ourselves. So we don’t really listen to what’s being said, but we prepare for when it’s out turn.
      13. Go into the conversation with the intention to listen for the most part.
      14. Connect with people, don’t perform for them. Let them do most of the talking. Enjoy listening.
      15. Resist the urge to speak, accept that there’s something within you which wants to respond.
      16. Better to trip with the feet than with the tongue.
          1. Lead by Example

      “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. be one!”

      • Ask yourself, who do you want to be out there, in the world. Then live by it!
      • Stop talking and start doing, your actions should speak for yourself rather than your words.
      • “There’s a great danger to talk about what you’ve learned because you might vomit up what’s not yet digested.”
      • If you live by your beliefs and standards you’ll be in a harmony called cognitive consonance.
      • Takeaways from the books

    • You must stop yourself from attaching yourself to external stimuli

    • You must remember that everything you have is granted to you on a temporary basis by nature, and appreciate it why you have access to, but be ready to give it up any day.
    • You must take responsibility of what is in your control, and let go of the things that aren’t under your control.

Words and their meanings

Ephemeral - Lasting for a very short time / Temporary

frivolous - Not having any serious purpose or value / carefree

Tranquillity - Free from disturbance; calm ****

equanimity - mental calmness, composure, evenness of temper, especially in a difficult situation.